Navigating Relationships with Intent

Marriage is one of the most fulfilling journeys you can take, but let’s be honest—it’s also one of the most challenging. You bring your hopes, dreams, and ideas into the relationship, only to discover your spouse has a whole set of their own. Disagreements can happen, and when they do, navigating relationships with intent becomes essential to strengthening your connection and overcoming obstacles together.
Here’s the good news: navigating those challenges isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being intentional. If you’ve been feeling stuck in the same arguments or wondering how to connect more deeply with your spouse, I want to share a few things I’ve learned that might help you see things differently.
Why Do We Get Stuck?
One of the most common reasons couples struggle is because we get locked into defending our positions. We’re so focused on proving we’re right or making our point that we miss the bigger picture: understanding why we feel the way we do and, more importantly, why our spouse feels the way they do.
I used to get caught in this trap, too. For example, early in my marriage, my wife and I had some intense conversations about how things should be done. Whether it was about finances or something as simple as how to load the dishwasher, we both had strong opinions. It wasn’t until I started asking myself, What’s behind her perspective? that I began to see the real issue wasn’t about being right—it was about understanding her needs and feelings.
When I shifted my focus from my position to her underlying interest, everything changed. Suddenly, our conversations felt less like battles and more like opportunities to connect. This is a perfect example of the importance of navigating relationships with intent.
The Art of “Taking L’s”
Let me tell you something that might sound strange at first: sometimes, the best thing you can do in your marriage is “take an L.” Now, don’t get me wrong—this isn’t about giving up or letting your spouse walk all over you. It’s about choosing to let go of small battles for the sake of long-term peace and connection.
Here’s an example. My wife has strong feelings about how I drive. She’s not shy about letting me know when my speed makes her nervous. In the past, I’d get defensive. I’d argue that I was a great driver and that she didn’t need to worry. The more I defended myself, the more tense our car rides became.
Then, I decided to let it go. Instead of trying to convince her of my driving skills, I chose to focus on what mattered: her comfort and our peace. I didn’t stop driving, of course, but I stopped letting her reactions rattle me. I chose connection over conflict.
Taking an “L” isn’t about losing; it’s about recognizing that not every battle is worth fighting. Sometimes, the smartest move is to step back and ask yourself, What’s more important right now—being right or being connected? This is another example of how navigating relationships with intent can create space for understanding and growth.
Intentional Steps Toward a Stronger Marriage
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: strong marriages don’t happen by accident. They’re built intentionally, one conversation, one decision, and yes, sometimes, one “L” at a time.
When you start focusing on understanding your spouse rather than winning arguments, you create an environment where both of you can thrive. You start to see challenges as opportunities to grow closer rather than reasons to drift apart.
So here’s my challenge to you: next time you’re in the middle of a disagreement, pause. Ask your spouse, “What’s important to you about this?” Then, really listen. You might be surprised by what you learn—not just about them, but about yourself, too.
Why This Matters
Marriage isn’t about avoiding disagreements; it’s about how you handle them. It’s about learning to communicate, to compromise, and to show up for each other even when it’s hard.
You don’t have to have all the answers, and you don’t have to get it right every time. But when you approach your relationship with curiosity and intention, you create the kind of connection that can weather any storm.
If you’re ready to take your marriage to the next level, I’d love to share more of what I’ve learned in my book, Overcoming the Man Laws. It’s packed with practical insights and real-life examples to help you navigate your relationship with purpose and grace. You can pick up your copy here.
Let’s build stronger marriages together—one intentional step at a time.
Blessings!