I Do – Even When I Don’t Understand

posted in: Rant & Rave | 12

imageMy husband is quirky.  Yep, I said it.  He’s quirky.  And some of his quirkiness annoys me.  He does things that I think are unnecessary and, in my opinion, a waste of time.  I’m not complaining; just making a statement.  My love for him FAAAARRR out-weighs my annoyance with his quirkiness, so I deal with it.  If I had to admit it, I’d have to say that I my quirkiness probably annoys him too (IF I had to admit it! lol).  But this isn’t about me, it’s about HIM…or is it?

The other day, I brought the laundry upstairs and proceeded to fold the basket’s contents.  When I got to one of his Polo shirts, I secretly noticed him observing how I was going to fold it.  I KNEW it was just a matter of time before he said something (I can always tell when something is on his mind and he’s about to say something.  Do you pick up on that kind of thing with your spouse??).  So in my mind, I sighed and thought “here it comes…”.   While covertly eyeing his body language, I made sure I moved a little slower, giving him time to get his thoughts and words together.  I turned the shirt this way and that, inspecting for something, anything. My thought: “is he still watching…? Yeah, he’s still watching…he’s about to say something, watch…” I smoothed out the wrinkles with my hands.  My thought: “any minute now, he’s gonna critique me…” I flipped the shirt back over, buttoned the top button and smoothed down the collar…he inhaled (like he always does right before he has something important t0 say).  My thought: “here we go, Niesy…brace yourself”

Brace myself, you say?  Yes, brace myself.  You see, Oli collects Polo shirts, and I KNOW that he has a certain way that he likes them to be folded.  But I have to admit, I hadn’t been folding them that way. Nor did I care to, truth be told…NOR did I think it was necessary. Honestly, I thought it was a waste of time; he’s GONNA iron it before he wears it anyway, so why all the attention to detail??  Waste of time, in my opinion.

Anyway, he finally did say something, right as I began folding his shirt my way!  He said, “You know, I have a certain way that I like to fold my Polos”.  I slowly put the shirt down and gave him a “I don’t have time for this” stare.  He continued, “I know it’s kinda silly, but I like for the horse to show when it’s folded…”  Clearly not the way I had been folding them.  Then he said, “C’mon…am I really telling you this??  You used to work at J.C. Penney’s; you should know how to fold Polo shirts!”  I gave him his second “I don’t have time for this” stare of the evening.  In my mind I was thinking, “This is stupid; besides, Penney’s doesn’t even sell Polo shirts…hmph!”  That’s what I was thinking.  What I said was something like, “Oh ok…like this?” and I folded the shirt – his way.  He smiled and said something like, “Yeah! Like that.  Thank you; I know it’s silly, but it’s what I like”.

Now by this time, my ruffled feathers had smoothed out, for the most part, and I was beginning to see this as an opportunity to do something for Oli that pleases him.  It’s a small sacrifice that I chose to make which meant a lot to him.  The way his shirts are folded is important to him – quirky, silly or not.  It’s what he likes.  Sometimes we just  gotta do stuff that may not make a whole lot of sense to us, but we do it anyway – simply because the act of pleasing our spouses does make sense.  So I chose to see him smile because I did something for him.  It made me smile, actually.

Who knows, maybe one day I will understand his quirkiness.  Maybe one day I won’t be able to see myself folding shirts any other way.  For now, I’m just grateful to God for teaching me a lesson through a Polo shirt:  Sometimes in our marriage, I have to say “I do” to things that I don’t understand.  I don’t always have to understand in order to show love.  I don’t always have to have things my way.  It is better to give than receive.  And what I give to my husband is what he wants – his quirkiness.  Small sacrifice for me; big appreciation from him. I like it. Small gestures from me show him that I love him…that he is important to me…that what he likes is important to me…that his preferences matter…that HE matters.

I do – even when I don’t understand.

12 Responses

  1. Avatar
    Tashina E Oladunjoye

    Love it !!!!!

  2. Avatar
    Louis Petit-Frere

    Great blog Denise!

  3. Avatar
    Narissa Thomas

    veryyy good 1!!! 🙂 i truly enjoy reading all your blogs!! im learning alot 🙂 thanks for your ministry!!!

    • Denise

      Aww, thank you Narissa! We appreciate your support & thank God that we are able share our 2 cents. We pray that you are blessed.
      We are so excited for your upcoming union with the love of your life! Remember that marriage is like a triangle with God at the top & each of you at the 2 bottom corners; as you reach up to Him, you will in inevitably be drawn closer to each other.
      Love you!

  4. Avatar
    Ken West

    I was smiling and chuckling through the entire article because I am also. Quirky, that is. And I KNOW my wife looks at me, just how you do Oli when I am in the middle of my quirkiness. LOL. Thank you for this. MUST SHARE

    • Denise

      I believe there’s a little quirkiness in all of us, Ken 🙂
      Thanks for stopping by! God bless..

  5. Avatar

    absolutely. marriages will be a lot better if we can accept our spouses for who they are, the way they are without tryin to over analyze or make them like ourselves

    • Denise

      Amen Eyitemi…only God can change our spouses, or ourselves. Take care & thanks for visiting our blog. God bless..

  6. Avatar
    Jay Chainz

    very good lesson on small sacrifices and big love… thanks for sharing

    • Denise

      Thank you Jay! God bless you and thanks for stopping by…

  7. Avatar
    Natasha Hill Braxton

    Love this post, girl I'm sure I've cut my eyes at my husband's quirkiness to. Remembering it's an opportunity to show him I care about the things that matter to him…wow

    • Oliver

      Amen, Tasha! It’s tough to remember sometimes, because as humans, our ‘self’ wants to get in the way. But we pray continually for the right spirit and attitude. Phew!
      Thanks for visiting the blog site!

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