Oli & I were talking a couple days ago & our conversation left me questioning…
This conversation started because of a reality tv show that we were watching. The couples on this show were dealing with this issue and it sparked a conversation.
Here’s the hypothetical scenario:
Let’s say we are very close friends with another married couple. Us wives hang out together, the husbands hang out together, we watch each other’s kids, vent to each other, pray with each other, etc…
Now…if the husband of the other couple confides in Oli that he has been unfaithful, is it unreasonable for me to expect Oli to tell me? Oli said that it is unreasonable & would not tell me! Keep in mind that Oli & I talk about EVERYTHING. I would think that this would be no different. Don’t you think so? Why or why not?
Before you answer, let me give you his view on this:
Oli believes that if the husband confides in him that it is not his/our place to introduce that issue to the other couple. He stated that he would encourage his friend to man up and let his wife know and make a tremendous effort to make things ‘right’. One main reason why he would not share what was told to him with me is because, as he put it, “I know that you would immediately go and tell his wife! That is not our place to bring this subject up with them…He (the husband) is responsible for telling his wife, and I would strongly encourage him to do so.” He also however, believes that there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to handle it per se, but we tend to create a ‘right and wrong’ answer based on our judgment of the person(s) as it relates to our own moral compass.
So, what do you think? Is it our responsibility to introduce the topic, or would we be out of place?
(Hopefully this will spark up a healthy dialogue, and not start an argument between you and your spouse…that IS NOT our intent.) 🙂
Oliver & Denise Marcelle are the founders of Denoli, LLC (speaking, facilitating, and mentoring/coaching). They have been married for 20 years and have 3 children.
Through seminars, a podcast, videos and social media posts, they offer a candid look into their own marriage, with the goal being to encourage couples and help them explore, grow and learn together.
It is their belief that all relationships stand a chance, if given the right tools.
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