14 Years A Husband...#Reflection

The ride to the church... — The ride to the church…

It has become a tradition of mine that every year I look back and share (in segments) the thoughts and feelings that I experienced during the events of our wedding weekend. I posted them on Facebook, on the respective days…

For those of you who are not on FB, or just don’t feel like reading segmented items, I have compiled them below…Enjoy

Part One:

As is my custom…
I’m taking a moment to reminisce and reflect…
On this day, at this time, 14 years ago, I was waiting for my parents, sister and cousin to arrive…
It was a day quite like this one…the weather was great, just like it is here in the DMV, and I was sitting on the LRC campground…
As I soaked in the sun that was about to set, I wondered if I was making the right decision…I wondered if my best friend could also double as my wife…I wondered if getting married would ‘ruin’ our friendship…
I had butterflies; I was excited and nervous…
I had absolutely no clue what I was getting into in its entirety…I wanted to be with her but ‘forever’ seemed so far in the distance that I could not fully evaluate the commitment I was about embark on. I only knew that there were 2 sleeps before I stood in front of God, Pastor Anthony Kelly, and a few witnesses to become Denise ‘s husband…
2 more days…
To Be Continued…

Part Two:

So… (fast forwarding to Saturday afternoon, about 4pm)
To be honest, most of this day 14 years ago is a blur… Not because the details are not important enough to remember, but because I had spent the night before tossing between the emotions of apprehension and excitement…
As a result most of the events after Friday night are a beautiful fog…
By this time we had finished eating (don’t even ask what we ate… Marva, do you remember?)
I do remember that the day seemed very long… Almost as if parts of it were happening in slow motion…
I remember thinking “this is the last 24 hour period that I will be single…” I had made many decisions, adult decisions, but for some reason I was not feeling like an adult right now…
Maybe because my parents were there, and I always felt like a child around them (different topic altogether… Lol), maybe because this decision seemed waayyyy bigger than me… Who knows…
I also remember looking over at my bride to be and thinking that she really doesn’t seem to be having the same mental battle that I was… (I’m sure that wasn’t the case… I think I was just all over the place so I wanted everyone to be too… Lol)
I’m rambling… Which is fitting, because mentally I was doing the same thing…
Now off to relax, show my parents around AU campus and find some activity that will ‘calm me down’…
1 more sleep…
To Be Continued…

Part Three:

The 3rd installment…The Wedding Day!(this one will be long…sorry in advance)
About this time on Sunday night I was sitting in a chair in our hotel…

Sunday morning:
I don’t remember too much that happened Sunday morning…lol
I remember saying a lot of quick prayers the night before and woke still apprehensive, but somewhat comfortable with the decision I made. I knew that I loved this woman ( or at least what I thought was love, because I love her waaayyy more now than I did that day!) I loved Stephaniee and Jemeka too, and part of my apprehension I believe had to do with going from being the ‘cool uncle’ to Dad… I was taking on 2 roles at the same time and was not too sure about either…I wasn’t sure if I could handle that responsibility (I still, to this very day, second guess myself when it comes to being a good father…)
Wedding time (about 1pm):
I don’t remember getting dressed…I only remember riding from the room I was staying in across the campground to the church in Pastor Anthony J. Kelly‘s car (above pic). Marva was talking to me and I was looking out the window thinking “this is it…”
Everything from that point went super fast…we took communion during the ceremony, foot washing and all (I remember my hands shaking a bit…) I remember looking into the audience, but never into anyone’s face. I remember when it was time to kiss the bride that I kissed Denise 4 times…on the forehead, both cheeks and then the lips…
And just like that…I was married! I remember Patrick and Freda signing the certificate…
The wedding for very simple (my wife wants a ‘do over’ next year…)
no real reception, or honeymoon…We went to a hotel about 30 minutes away after having some friends over for refreshments…
Neither of us knew what we were getting into and if we had… (the sentiments and observations that accompany the 2 statements above will end up in a Marriage Is Our Ministry post…check out the website when you get a chance)
However, I will say this for now…we are living proof that you CAN make it despite the odds! There ARE women who will stand by their man and hold up his hands, even at times when he cannot hold them up himself.
Your marriage CAN be successful, You CAN be happy!
So, right now, 14 years ago…I am holding my wife…we are watching tv, and we are exhausted…
The choice of committing to, of vowing to write the book of lives together in holy matrimony was sinking in…
The introduction was wrapping up…
14 chapters later…and we are still writing! Stay tuned…