As I am writing this, I am looking out the window at a nice sunny day. The forecast called for rain this morning, and indeed it did rain. As I am glancing at the forecast, it is now saying that it will be mostly sunny, with a possible shower here and there. Clouds are lurking about, a sign that something may indeed happen. It is now my responsibility to make sure that I prepare adequately if I am going out, or to completely avoid it by staying indoors.
Nothing just happens, it doesn’t all of a sudden start raining out of the blue. There are some signs, some indication that the weather is about to change (even if it is a rapid change). Although I realize this, I have made the mistake (many times) in the past of failing to prepare for the forecast, and then becoming upset when caught in the rain.
Where am I going with this you ask? Well, just as the title states, we are all meteorologists. We have the ability to view the signs of our marriages, and threfore forecast, and prepare accordingly. It seems pretty simple, but many times we make the mistake of ignoring the forecast and then becoming upset when we walk into the wrong ‘weather’. We hear so many people say (after the fact), “I saw the signs but chose to ignore them”. From small things such as bringing up a particular conversation topic, to more complex issues such as abusive situations, we must make a habit of observing the signs and preparing accordingly.
Now just as with weather, there are some times where the marriage forecast is a little off. Last week, here in the Md area we were warned of a large snow storm that was to blanket the state with a foot of snow. When it was all said and done, we got an inch or two. We prepared, and braced ourselves for this snow storm only to realize that it was not that bad after all. Being prepared however, allowed us to be able to deal with the 2″ with no effort at all. It is the same in marriage. Sometimes we mis-read our spouses. We brace ourselves for reactions, only to realize that they are not what we expected. This is not a problem however…you don’t get upset if you put an umbrella in your car and it didn’t rain, right?
Do not think for a second that your marriage forecast will, or even should include all sunny days! You WILL encounter some ‘bad weather’. It is not the bad weather that you should focus on however, but rather how you deal with the bad weather. I can clearly tell when Niesy (my wife) is irritated about something. I have learned (through the mistake of ignoring the forecast in the past), to not do or say certain things during this period of time. I have also learned that there are certain things that I CAN do and say, that will help to offset the irritation. You can make it through times of bad weather, if you don’t ignore the signs and prepare accordingly. In certain cases, you can even enjoy yourself…singing in the rain…
Encourage the singles that you know to NOT ignore signs when dating. Many people are in marriages that they regret because they failed to acknowledge signs, that if you ask them, they will admit to having seen early on.
We hear it all the time, but communication is a key factor in being able to forecast, and prepare for the things that come up in the marriage. Do not leave anything to chance. Although he or she may be very observant, and your actions may be seemingly transparent, your spouse cannot read your mind. Take some time to evaluate the forecast for your marriage today…and plan accordingly.
Oliver & Denise Marcelle are the founders of Denoli, LLC (speaking, facilitating, and mentoring/coaching).
They have been married for 22 years, have 3 children and 1 grandchild.
Through seminars, a podcast, videos, and social media posts, they offer a candid look into their own marriage, with the goal being to encourage couples and help them explore, grow and learn together.
Oliver and Denise can help you build the relationship of your dreams, both personally and professionally.
Book Denoli for your next event!
Marley Menen Harris
This is good stuff! From a divorced womans point of view, you hit the nail. I totally prior to my marriage, I totally ignored the "forecast" that was shown to me over and over again, prior to the actually wedding, especially the unequally yoked factor. Serious food for thought. Thank you.