Something amazing happened today. I’ve said it several times & I must say it again…I wholeheartedly believe that one of the ways God reveals His character to me is through my husband. Here’s another example…
So, yesterday I was coming up the stairs from our basement, Oli was behind me. He reached up & put his arms around my waist, so I stopped to enjoy the hug (he’s the best hugger ever!) He was on the ground floor, I was on the second step in front of him. Then he said something crazy… “Fall back. I’ll catch you.”
Now, he was only two steps below me, but I tell you, it was the toughest thing for me to do! It literally took me about 10 minutes to gather up enough courage. 10 minutes of me almost falling back & then stopping myself at the last minute…10 minutes of the kids snickering & rolling their eyes & telling me that I was acting as if I was told to jump off of the Empire State Building…10 minutes of the kids shaking their heads incredulously…10 minutes of me asking Oli repeatedly if he was SURE that he could catch me…10 minutes of Oli trying to assure me that he would definitely catch me…10 minutes of my “what if” questions…10 minutes of his confident, calm replies.
Then I fell back. He caught me. He didn’t stumble. He didn’t stagger. I fell back against his strong chest & he did not move. He was THERE. He caught me. Two steps. It took about 1 second for me to fall against his chest. Yet it took me all that time to move!
Then the realization of how long it took me to fall back started to bother me. Does that mean I don’t trust him? I DO trust him. Does he THINK I don’t trust him? The kids started teasing me, saying “wow dad, your wife doesn’t trust you…after all these years…” That saddened me. But Oli assured me that he does believe that I trust him & that he knows my apprehension about heights, I shouldn’t put a lot of thought into it, etc…
I still feel some kind of way about it. I have to pray about that & think that through…
But later on in the evening, I began thinking…I sometimes react the same way with God! How many times has He told me to fall back…how many times has He tried to lead the way, but I don’t move because of fear? I can imagine God telling me, “just do what I say…trust me…I gotchu!” Where is my faith?? What will it take for me to just fall back into His loving arms and trust that He will catch me?
Now that I’ve taken the “fall back challenge” on the steps with my husband, I am sure that I would do it again without hesitation (well…maybe a LITTLE hesitation).
Maybe that’s how I need to be with God. Just fall back one time & then see how much easier it will be when He challenges me to go deeper the next time. I SAY that I trust Him. Now I’m challenged to prove Him.
And I challenge you to do the same.