A couple nights ago I went out to grab a bite with a couple guys. This is only the second or third time that I have done this since I got married! (Yeah, you read that right!)
My ‘Rationale’ (reasons and excuses):
I have over the years become more and more of a home body. I am very comfortable being by myself or surrounded by my wife and kids. Even going back to before my wife and I were married, her company has been a sort of ‘haven’ from the rest of the world and its, or should I say MY issues. Although I ‘know’ a ton of guys, and many of them are what I would characterize as ‘good friends’, I have never felt like I have that David and Jonathan type of friendship with any of them. Now to be honest, that never really bothered me. I stay very busy with my day to day activities, taking care of business at home and otherwise. As a result I don’t have the kind of time I would like to hang out anyway. I was satisfied with the types of friendships that I have/had, and anything that I thought was missing would be provided via interaction with my wife – the person I am most comfortable around…
As of late I am sensing an increasing need to develop deeper friendships. I need to associate with like-minded guys, bounce ideas, laugh, talk about ‘guy stuff’, vent etc… I expressed this to my wife, who was way ahead of me in realizing the importance of having this kind of outlet. I suggested to a friend of mine that we needed to get some of the guys together to hang out. I shared with him the fact that I felt like I needed this type of interaction at this point in my life. He said something to me that made me think… “You’ve got to reach out…”
His statement was the nail that deflated the above mentioned rationale! “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly…” (Proverbs). I had only talked about what was missing but had not done anything to make it better. I accepted things as they are and did not made the effort to reach out to anyone and take steps to develop the scenario that I desire. Having great friendships outside of my spouse is an important component and I have to get better in this area! Although marriage is exclusive, we on the other hand should not be reclusive!
So…back to the beginning
A couple nights ago I went out to grab a bite with a couple guys. This is only the second or third time that I have done this since I got married! I had a good time! It is like inexpensive group therapy! My wife was even more excited about me going out that I was; she almost pushed me out of the door…lol Seriously though, I am thankful for such a supportive mate!
After 13+ years I am still learning about myself. I believe that having things to work on is a sign that I am still growing and I am grateful for that.
So…I am looking forward to the next
Guys Night Out
Oliver & Denise Marcelle are the founders of Denoli, LLC (speaking, facilitating, and mentoring/coaching).
They have been married for 22 years, have 3 children and 1 grandchild.
Through seminars, a podcast, videos, and social media posts, they offer a candid look into their own marriage, with the goal being to encourage couples and help them explore, grow and learn together.
Oliver and Denise can help you build the relationship of your dreams, both personally and professionally.
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Justin M. Davito
I am glad you are doing that. So awesome!
That's great Ollie! I was just as excited to kick Kirk out the door for that first Guys Night Out years ago. Trust me you won't regret it and I have seen how much he has grown since then. Those guys are tighter than ever. Thanks for sharing.
Taking time for yourself and to be with friends is important. Even if you just get a hobby to do by yourself it will refresh you.
I agree! I will definitely be intentional about being involved in more nights/outings like that one!