We live in a world filled with formulas and strategies. We draw up game plans, and attend brainstorming sessions. Our daily lives include a schedule of events that are governed by a system, either one that we created, or one that we have to conform to. I am not saying that any of this is wrong, I am merely pointing out the existence of these things. We use these concepts and strategies to insure our success in life, business, education, etc. However, sometimes this way of thinking and living spills over into our personal lives and relationships.
There are many articles that you can browse, hundreds of books you can read, dozens of seminars that you can go to that will give you strategies for having a successful marriage. These are very helpful and can spawn many ideas in the minds of those who are exposed to the information. I myself read, and use much of the same information for my own personal development. I believe when it comes to marriage however, that sometimes we over-think things. We get so caught up in whatever ‘self-help’ marriage material may be popular at the time, scrambling to put into practice whatever concepts and strategies are presented. Although these things ARE very helpful, I think that we need to take a moment and step back, and revisit the basics…
There are some basic things that will give you success in marriage. Even if you never read another book, or went to another seminar, these things will help develop the type of relationship you are looking for:
If I had to put these in a category it would be ‘Treat Your Spouse The Way You Want To Be Treated’
1. Say ‘I Love You’ at least 2x a day
2. Be affectionate, touch/hug your spouse
3. Spend quality talk time together, even if it is 10 minutes
4. Pray together
5. Find out something that your spouse likes, and do it…often
6. Ask questions when you are unsure about something, don’t jump to conclusions
7. Remember to do the little things: opening a door, helping with a coat, etc
8. Let your spouse know (with words) that they are attractive and still turn you on
9. Laugh together
10. Have sex often
11. Listen to and support each other in everything
12. Say ‘I’m sorry’ when you know you should…and even when you don’t think you should
13. Find time once a week to have ‘a date’
14. Surprise your spouse every once in a while by doing something that would normally be done by them…i.e. do the dishes, clean up some area of the house, etc
15. Remember that your spouse is #1 in your life. All others come second…and treat them that way
These are very simple things, but if they are done consistently will create an atmosphere of peace, love, and happiness!
Try it out…
“Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice.” -Fawn Weaver (tweet this)
Oliver & Denise Marcelle are the founders of Denoli, LLC (speaking, facilitating, and mentoring/coaching).
They have been married for 22 years, have 3 children and 1 grandchild.
Through seminars, a podcast, videos, and social media posts, they offer a candid look into their own marriage, with the goal being to encourage couples and help them explore, grow and learn together.
Oliver and Denise can help you build the relationship of your dreams, both personally and professionally.
Book Denoli for your next event!
Yes to all especially to date your spouse. We do that with 5 kids. It's not cheap but there's no amount of money that you can put on a good marriage. It's priceless!
Thank you for your comment Jenny! A good marriage IS pricesless! We agree