I probably lost a few readers at the title…but
If you made it past the title then hear me out…
Think about everything you know about sex, your likes and dislikes, time preferences, places where it happens, lights on or lights off, grooming/sex preparation, clothing, toys…anything you know of about sex, or have incorporated into you sex life…
Now answer these questions: Where did you learn about all that? Did anyone sit down and talk to you about it? Did you parents give you ‘tips and tricks’? Did you pastor give you advice on having a great sex life? Did your church bring in a sex therapist that talked to married couples (and those about to get married) about foreplay and positions?
I am willing to bet that for most of us the answer to these questions is a resounding NO! For alot of folks these questions may even sounds ridiculous, but the fact remains that as married people, we are having sex (hopefully), and that knowledge came from somewhere. What I am proposing is that it come from the church!!
If you answered no to the questions posed in the beginning, then you probably learned what you now from sources like TV, movies, friends, porn, etc. Now I am not a conspiracy theorist by any means, but all of these mediums have a designated agenda and ‘curriculum’. This ‘curriculum’ is revised constantly so that you are consistently flooded with the most current forms of sexual information. As ‘church folk’ we spend a lot of energy denouncing these forms of ‘education’ but we do not attempt in any way to supplement with our own ‘curriculum’.
I NEVER, and I mean not even once, had any kind of conversation about sex with my parents, or any other adult or church leader for that matter. I myself am somewhat guilty when it comes to my kids…we as parents have talked to them on occasion but I still don’t feel it is enough to offset the ‘training’ that they receive on a regular basis through the media.
I believe that it is important that churches, leaders, parents etc begin to have very open, candid discussions, seminars, etc about this and other very real issues that we face as human beings. The church in particular (in my opinion) is responsible for the WHOLE development of its members, and the community around them. Yes, it is extremely important to proclaim Jesus and the fact that He is coming soon and we need to be ready. But be very clear, don’t think that we can be comfortable in our dysfunction in other areas of ours lives and still be ‘caught up to meet Him’…(once again, my opinion)
Marriage Is Our Ministry is committed to assisting in the development of healthy marriages…
We are not experts, but we are REAL (and we know some experts…lol). We will in the future (with God’s help) facilitate a marriage seminar that will expose, explore, and educate on some very real topics that marriages face.
So…Let’s talk about sex…IN CHURCH (and everything else for that matter)!!
Oliver & Denise Marcelle are the founders of Denoli, LLC (speaking, facilitating, and mentoring/coaching).
They have been married for 22 years, have 3 children and 1 grandchild.
Through seminars, a podcast, videos, and social media posts, they offer a candid look into their own marriage, with the goal being to encourage couples and help them explore, grow and learn together.
Oliver and Denise can help you build the relationship of your dreams, both personally and professionally.
Book Denoli for your next event!
The culture we live in makes it seem as though sex is a horrible act and should be kept on the DL – but when delved into as a married person it is the greatest act created by God. I learned a concept I share with all married folks I know. It is called bedroom worship – making this magnificent act created by God as an act of Worship when entered into by married couples.
Dr. Jessica McCleese
Great post! I agree that the church has to start sharing healthy and wholesome sex education with its people. It amazes me a little that there is so much fear in sharing God's perfect plan. But – my guess would be that the brokenness that most are all too familiar with makes sharing intimidating. So, my prayer is that God heals the sexually broken and then uses them to speak His truth.
Thanks for stopping by to check us out!
You are right about the brokenness making sharing intimidating. Also the fact that sex has such a perverted connotation that we feel it has no place in church. However, when you look at the various issues that we face in and out of the church in regards to sex and sexuality, who better than the church to set a standard…