No matter where I am during my day I have access to a mobile phone charger. There is one in the car, one in my bag for work, and one at home. Having this kind of access ensures that I will be able to re-charge when needed, and I will not be caught with a dead phone at the time when I need it the most. Imagine this…You have a charger everywhere but when your phone’s battery life is getting low, you choose to ignore it. Crazy right? Even crazier still is the fact that you are frustrated and stressed about the fact that the battery is low and that you may be without communication – but you still choose to ignore the fact that you have a charger and allow the stress and frustration to overtake you. Why would anyone do that you ask…
Well, we do the same thing in our marriages!
Niesy and I have been overwhelmed lately, about several things. Those of you who are friends with Denise on Facebook may have seen her post about needing a break. Financial issues, school/children issues, work issues, weight issues, scheduling issues…issues issues issues…
There are a few things that happen to us during these times:
I become somewhat reclusive, which irritates my wife. When I get that way I need Niesy’s touch but because she is irritated, that is the last thing on her mind. She ends up diving into whatever she may be doing at the time (work, making dinner, cleaning etc) and leaves me alone. This starts a cycle that creates a disconnect between us. Often times we go for a couple days before we ‘reconnect’…
The crazy thing is (and we have only recently made this ‘discovery’) that we have the ‘reconnection tools’ in our hands the whole time…
prayer and sex!
My wife and I are learning the importance of making prayer and sex a very regular part of our lives. One morning recently, I could feel the disconnect as if I were wearing a heavy coat. Before she went down to the office to start her day, I called her back into the bedroom. We proceeded to connect with God and each other. Sometimes you don’t realize how much you need to recharge until you plug in. Did the issues disappear? Absolutely not! But we were connected and that made a major difference in how our day went!
You cannot, as a couple, pray together and remain disconnected!
You and your spouse are like a negative and positive wire plugging into the same source in order to come alive! And the act of sex itself is the epitome of becoming one. However, you can hold two wires in your hand all day long but they won’t work if not plugged in! You can have a hundred phone chargers, but if you never connect your phone then the battery WILL die!
Consistency and high frequency is important…You cannot charge your phone today and then not connect to the charger again for 3 weeks. In the same way you cannot allow long periods of time to pass between coming together, spiritually or physically. You must also be intentional about your connection. Often times (and Niesy and I are guilty of this) we ‘do’ out of what feels more like obligation than desire. You would not just throw your charger in the direction of the phone in hopes that it will connect. In the same way you must be intentional about making time to come together to pray, as well as preparing yourself mentally and physically for sexual intimacy with your spouse.
We are going to take this challenge (and we’d like you to do the same)…
We are going to attempt to come together spiritually and physically as often as we charge our phones…I generally charge my phone at least once during a 24 hour period. Now it may not happen exactly that way but we WILL make the effort to consistently recharge so that the fire in our marriage is not put out by the overwhelming issues in our life.
Plug in and recharge today!!
Oliver & Denise Marcelle are the founders of Denoli, LLC (speaking, facilitating, and mentoring/coaching). They have been married for 20 years and have 3 children.
Through seminars, a podcast, videos and social media posts, they offer a candid look into their own marriage, with the goal being to encourage couples and help them explore, grow and learn together.
It is their belief that all relationships stand a chance, if given the right tools.
Book Denoli for your next event!